i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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