I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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