PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
zippers are such a cool invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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