and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
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Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
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Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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