How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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