he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.