I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.