goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.