I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!