if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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