Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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