spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
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My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
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I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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