Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
