She said her name was "party"
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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