If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
