You smell like a Billy Joel song
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
