oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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