If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
