Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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