You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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