I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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