he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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