Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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