sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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