all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
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You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
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being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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