Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
