Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
someone owes me an orgasm
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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