dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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