I just pynch a tree in the face
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize