You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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