listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
