Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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