i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
