another moral hangover. fuck.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Randomize
