Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
There are leaves in my underwear?
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