hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i've created a new STD.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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