My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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