Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
