if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
bring money and cleavage
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
