so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
