i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
is that a dick in a sweater?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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