I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
