I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
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I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
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Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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