I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
