U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
