Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Randomize
