ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
