Sry I called you an 8
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize