So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
