Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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