I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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