He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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