He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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