Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
