Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
