I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
