He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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