he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I booty called her while she was in labor.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
