I just saw a hot homeless man
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just blew my weed a kiss
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
