So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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