the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
