Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
