Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
